why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
