dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
