At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
