i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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