Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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