Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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