Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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