there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
