she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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