I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
