btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
