I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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