yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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