How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hippo gnu deer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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