dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
