Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
