Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
