dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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