Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
