I cockslap morals
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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