Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
