if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize