after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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