oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I love you.
Bad choice
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
