He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize