Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
