He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
