Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
