forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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