i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
