my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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