hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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