Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
wanna go halves on a baby?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Randomize
