I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just high enough for therapy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
