and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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