she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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