She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
