It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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