I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
