Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
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