I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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