I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So squirting runs in the family.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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