I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
