his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
