It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
