Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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