I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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