he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
