I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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