does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
