Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
