great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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