laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
