nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
