I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
