Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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