Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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