I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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